There was a reed. There were hyenas. There was blood on a tray table. There was also me, completely lost.
Lachlan Smith is a former soldier who served in Afghanistan. Things went badly, and his lover and trainer, Helen, was killed. Still grieving her loss, Smith is sent to Ethiopia to protect a wealthy family engaged in criminal activities. From there, the story eventually takes him into a world involving an Ethiopian man, a reed, hyenas, and a whole lot of mystery. And this is where I got completely lost.
Actually, I was lost from the start.
Smith's relationship with Helen and his grief over her death are woven throughout the novel, but I never really understood what she had been training him for or how all the pieces of that history connected to what was happening in Ethiopia. There were also recurring references to blood on the tray table during his flight. I kept waiting for that detail to become meaningful, but by the end, I still wasn't sure what I was supposed to take from it.
I also couldn't connect with any of the characters. I didn't particularly love or care about any of them, and that made it even harder for me to stay emotionally invested in the story. I wanted to understand Smith and what was driving him, especially given everything he had experienced, but I never felt like I really got there.
The one thing I can say in the book's favor is that it is atmospheric. I can see why the synopsis describes it as intricate, and I can see how readers who enjoy literary thrillers filled with ambiguity, symbolism, and unanswered questions might appreciate what Josh Kendall is doing here. There is clearly a lot going on beneath the surface.
Unfortunately, I spent most of my time trying to figure out what was happening on the surface.
Instead of feeling suspense or excitement, I felt confused. Then I felt frustrated because I was still confused. I kept thinking, Okay, surely this is where it all comes together. And it never did. The atmosphere that may work beautifully for some readers left me feeling like I was wandering around in the dark without a flashlight.
I finished the book because quitting felt like losing. That's pretty much my definition of a two-star read: I finished it, but only because I had already invested the time and wasn't ready to admit defeat. I kept hoping the final pieces would fall into place and that I would finally understand what I had been reading. They didn't.
This may simply be a case of the book not being the right fit for me. If you enjoy atmospheric, complex thrillers where you are expected to piece together symbolism and meaning and sit comfortably with ambiguity, I'm Not Here to Hunt Rabbits may work much better for you than it did for me. If you're looking for a thriller that keeps you turning pages because you need to know what happens next, however, this one may be a tougher sell.
Content warnings include war violence and death, along with some disturbing material involving hyenas.
For me, I'm Not Here to Hunt Rabbits was ultimately more confusing than thrilling. And that's not something I say often about a book.
Thank you to NetGalley and Putnam for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
