Here’s a cool link my brother found…
Do you know someone who is worth their weight in gold? I am worth more than I care to admit.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
God
It occurred to me that, during the course of history, when man hasn’t understood something, he assigns a god to it. The God of Fire. The God of Thunder. The Goddess of Love. Soooo…Isn’t Christianity just a modern-day version of, say, Greek Mythology?
I have my usual fall sinus thing going on. Hmm. The Gods must be angry.
Michael said...
The SINUS God must be angry. :D
I have my usual fall sinus thing going on. Hmm. The Gods must be angry.
Michael said...
The SINUS God must be angry. :D
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Sadness
I woke up this morning feeling sad. It was an awful day at work yesterday, it's raining, it's getting cooler, summer is over.
Perhaps I need mornings like these to fully appreciate happy days? Still, I'd rather do without.
Michael said...
“It was an awful day at work yesterday, it's raining, it's getting cooler, summer is over… and my mom died a few months ago.”
No matter how complicated your relationship with your mother was, it is still a powerful loss as an unconcious reminder of mortality and our individual solitude on the planet.
And death is final. All hope, however closely held or carefully hidden from yourself, is over. There will be no reconciliation, no understanding, no happier outcome, no forgiveness, no welcome, no acceptance, no validation. The door is closed.
These are emotional awarenesses, not rational ones, and I think the heart holds desires that the mind fiercely denies.
I think some of your sadness is the leakage of a small, vulnerable child crying for her mommy.
Serena said:
You know, I didn't think of that. You are are probably very right, especially since just your comment brought tears to my eyes.
I am finding writing somewhat cathartic. My first 'paper' for my English Comp class is to write four to five pages about someone who has had an influence on me, either postive or negative. I started to write about mom, and ended up writing about me. You'll see it here when it's done. I'm in rough draft right now.
Michael said...
In a related vein, when I wrote the Ocean Blue post http://lensbrushquill.blogspot.com/2006/07/ocean-blue.html
I should have been more direct, I guess. I should have simply said, “I’m having a hard time coping with all of this loss, but I know there is nothing anyone can do to help."
Serena said ...
I read that shortly after you posted it and wept. It may have been the first time I cried since mom died. I think you were direct. You expressed so well what we go through, and you're right. No one can help.
I wonder if our situation is different from those of many other people. A friend of mine told me, "I don't know what I'll do when my mom passes. I'll be a mess!" I don't feel a mess. I'm sad. We never will have what we needed and wanted . . . to be loved, unconditionally, and accepted, without judgment or caustic comment. That, in and of itself, is sad.
As you put it so well, "The heart’s deepest wish is to lovingly bonded, and the soul’s deepest need is to be understood." I wish...
Perhaps I need mornings like these to fully appreciate happy days? Still, I'd rather do without.
Michael said...
“It was an awful day at work yesterday, it's raining, it's getting cooler, summer is over… and my mom died a few months ago.”
No matter how complicated your relationship with your mother was, it is still a powerful loss as an unconcious reminder of mortality and our individual solitude on the planet.
And death is final. All hope, however closely held or carefully hidden from yourself, is over. There will be no reconciliation, no understanding, no happier outcome, no forgiveness, no welcome, no acceptance, no validation. The door is closed.
These are emotional awarenesses, not rational ones, and I think the heart holds desires that the mind fiercely denies.
I think some of your sadness is the leakage of a small, vulnerable child crying for her mommy.
Serena said:
You know, I didn't think of that. You are are probably very right, especially since just your comment brought tears to my eyes.
I am finding writing somewhat cathartic. My first 'paper' for my English Comp class is to write four to five pages about someone who has had an influence on me, either postive or negative. I started to write about mom, and ended up writing about me. You'll see it here when it's done. I'm in rough draft right now.
Michael said...
In a related vein, when I wrote the Ocean Blue post http://lensbrushquill.blogspot.com/2006/07/ocean-blue.html
I should have been more direct, I guess. I should have simply said, “I’m having a hard time coping with all of this loss, but I know there is nothing anyone can do to help."
Serena said ...
I read that shortly after you posted it and wept. It may have been the first time I cried since mom died. I think you were direct. You expressed so well what we go through, and you're right. No one can help.
I wonder if our situation is different from those of many other people. A friend of mine told me, "I don't know what I'll do when my mom passes. I'll be a mess!" I don't feel a mess. I'm sad. We never will have what we needed and wanted . . . to be loved, unconditionally, and accepted, without judgment or caustic comment. That, in and of itself, is sad.
As you put it so well, "The heart’s deepest wish is to lovingly bonded, and the soul’s deepest need is to be understood." I wish...
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
English Comp Essay: Freewriting Exercise
My assignment last week in English Comp was to freewrite for ten minutes straight, not stopping for spelling errors or punctuation errors or even when I ran out of thoughts. The topic was to freewrite concerning something that had angered or frustrated me in recent weeks:
False advertising, or at the very least, companies who don’t deliver what they propose to deliver. On-line education should be on-line. Many people have a multitude of reasons why traveling to a campus to sit in a traditional classroom is not conceivable. Single parents working full-time. Business travelers. Last semester I took a course with a soldier in Iraq. The war doesn’t stop for orientation. Remember the audience, be careful not to offend. Assuming knowledge that no offense is meant, on-line education and distance learning should be just that. I expect to receive what I pay for. The cable company is another entity that doesn’t deliver. Every month the price goes up, but no extra services are rendered. Perhaps they need to recoup all the money they lost in their white-collar scandal. Loads of consumers dissatisfied with them, and turning to satellite television instead. I wonder if that is a viable option for me. Do satellite television companies deliver what they say they will? What exactly do they promise? And how misleading are the cable television commercials when speaking about satellite services? The price of gas keeps going up; I think that’s the Republicans not delivering what we are paying for. I should probably stay away from the political. I wonder if my audience for these papers will be just the professor or if we will be ‘discussing’ ideas with our classmates. Ideas exchanged on-line, of course, from a distance. Distance learning should not be turned into an oxymoron. It’s extremely frustrating, and will quite probably result in my changing educational institutions. I wish I had defied my parents and obtained my education when I got out of high school 25 years ago in a traditional manner. There’s another thought…reasons people don’t go to college. Financial obstacles. Religious objection. The folly of youth.
Michael said...
Excellent stream-of-consciousness capture.
This is the sort of thing that you observe in zazen meditation, but do not attach to – you simply observe these thoughts passing in your head like a river. Eventually you learn to stay out of the river – to not grab onto one of those thoughts and stay with it, ride it to wherever it goes. The word “non-attachment” has a powerful meaning in Zen – the ability to let things happen without feeling judgment, without feeling the need to get involved, to try a “rescue,” or to attempt to alter anything. It’s a tough trick at first, but it’s pretty cool once you have the hang of it.
In another direction, this is the sort of writing that you look at in five years and marvel at your overall mood… Save this in your journal. It’s important. Don’t have a journal? Start one. This process of “education” is going to profoundly change your life in a good way, and it will be a powerful gift to yourself to have preserved a record of where you came from, and how long the journey was.
You go, girl!
Serena said:
Thanks! I just let it floooooooow. For my first paper (I described it in the post above), I started with freewriting, too.
I don't have a journal. I guess this blog is the closest thing I have to one. I feel more comfortable at a keyboard than with a pen and paper. I should rethink this, though. If this site decided to discontinue their service, my thoughts would be lost.
What do you think?
False advertising, or at the very least, companies who don’t deliver what they propose to deliver. On-line education should be on-line. Many people have a multitude of reasons why traveling to a campus to sit in a traditional classroom is not conceivable. Single parents working full-time. Business travelers. Last semester I took a course with a soldier in Iraq. The war doesn’t stop for orientation. Remember the audience, be careful not to offend. Assuming knowledge that no offense is meant, on-line education and distance learning should be just that. I expect to receive what I pay for. The cable company is another entity that doesn’t deliver. Every month the price goes up, but no extra services are rendered. Perhaps they need to recoup all the money they lost in their white-collar scandal. Loads of consumers dissatisfied with them, and turning to satellite television instead. I wonder if that is a viable option for me. Do satellite television companies deliver what they say they will? What exactly do they promise? And how misleading are the cable television commercials when speaking about satellite services? The price of gas keeps going up; I think that’s the Republicans not delivering what we are paying for. I should probably stay away from the political. I wonder if my audience for these papers will be just the professor or if we will be ‘discussing’ ideas with our classmates. Ideas exchanged on-line, of course, from a distance. Distance learning should not be turned into an oxymoron. It’s extremely frustrating, and will quite probably result in my changing educational institutions. I wish I had defied my parents and obtained my education when I got out of high school 25 years ago in a traditional manner. There’s another thought…reasons people don’t go to college. Financial obstacles. Religious objection. The folly of youth.
Michael said...
Excellent stream-of-consciousness capture.
This is the sort of thing that you observe in zazen meditation, but do not attach to – you simply observe these thoughts passing in your head like a river. Eventually you learn to stay out of the river – to not grab onto one of those thoughts and stay with it, ride it to wherever it goes. The word “non-attachment” has a powerful meaning in Zen – the ability to let things happen without feeling judgment, without feeling the need to get involved, to try a “rescue,” or to attempt to alter anything. It’s a tough trick at first, but it’s pretty cool once you have the hang of it.
In another direction, this is the sort of writing that you look at in five years and marvel at your overall mood… Save this in your journal. It’s important. Don’t have a journal? Start one. This process of “education” is going to profoundly change your life in a good way, and it will be a powerful gift to yourself to have preserved a record of where you came from, and how long the journey was.
You go, girl!
Serena said:
Thanks! I just let it floooooooow. For my first paper (I described it in the post above), I started with freewriting, too.
I don't have a journal. I guess this blog is the closest thing I have to one. I feel more comfortable at a keyboard than with a pen and paper. I should rethink this, though. If this site decided to discontinue their service, my thoughts would be lost.
What do you think?
English Comp Essay: Forgetful
My assignment this week (in English Comp) was to write a paragraph concerning a specific topic. On the list of choices was, “Barb is forgetful.” The twist was that I was not permitted to use the word “forgetful”, nor was I permitted to use another form of the word (“forgot”) or a synonym of the word. Here is what I came up with:
Barb begins each day with the search for her to-do list, carefully placed on the counter in plain sight beside the lunch she packed the night before, so she can walk out the door without either of them. She once left the house without first checking to make sure her clothes were in order, leaving for work without putting on her skirt. There are times she doesn’t know how she got to work. All is well that ends well, though, as she is always in the right place at the right time to pick up her son.
Michael said...
Sounds... autobiographical... :D
Serena said...
Durn tootin'.
Got all the way to work just to discover I didn't have my skirt on. One of life's more embarrassing moments. I can laugh now, but then? I wished the floor would have opened up and swallowed me whole.
Barb begins each day with the search for her to-do list, carefully placed on the counter in plain sight beside the lunch she packed the night before, so she can walk out the door without either of them. She once left the house without first checking to make sure her clothes were in order, leaving for work without putting on her skirt. There are times she doesn’t know how she got to work. All is well that ends well, though, as she is always in the right place at the right time to pick up her son.
Michael said...
Sounds... autobiographical... :D
Serena said...
Durn tootin'.
Got all the way to work just to discover I didn't have my skirt on. One of life's more embarrassing moments. I can laugh now, but then? I wished the floor would have opened up and swallowed me whole.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Bussing Frustration
Why is it that I live five minutes from my son's school, and it takes 1 hour and 35 minutes for the school bus to get him home, when he is the "second stop"?
Taxpayer dollars at work.
The school district provides one bus for the school my son attends, which has an elementary school, a middle school, and a high school. He is dismissed at 3:10. The bus then pulls around to the high school and loads the high school students at 3:40. Then the bus goes to the middle school and loads the middle school students at 4:10. By the time every bus is loaded and they are on their way, it is 4:45 when my son is deposited at his stop.
Why is it that I seem to be the only one who sees something wrong with this picture? Why isn't the bus taking the little ones home and then going back to the middle school to get those students, and why aren't the high school students bussed separately?
I have no idea who to call. I called the school district transportation department and got nowhere. They don't have enough busses, is what I'm told. Yet last year he was home by 3:35.
Ridiculous.
Taxpayer dollars at work.
The school district provides one bus for the school my son attends, which has an elementary school, a middle school, and a high school. He is dismissed at 3:10. The bus then pulls around to the high school and loads the high school students at 3:40. Then the bus goes to the middle school and loads the middle school students at 4:10. By the time every bus is loaded and they are on their way, it is 4:45 when my son is deposited at his stop.
Why is it that I seem to be the only one who sees something wrong with this picture? Why isn't the bus taking the little ones home and then going back to the middle school to get those students, and why aren't the high school students bussed separately?
I have no idea who to call. I called the school district transportation department and got nowhere. They don't have enough busses, is what I'm told. Yet last year he was home by 3:35.
Ridiculous.
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