Twilight Puts Me to Sleep

After fighting it for quite some time now, I finally read (and finished) Twilight. Ian wanted me to read it to see if it was okay for him to read. {heavy sigh} So I did.

It was a fast read. I finished it in less than 4 hours. I thought it was rather boring, and I fought the urge to close my eyes for a nap about half way through. I'm not sure what the allure is. I mean, if you really want to read a vampire tale, shouldn't you pick up something by Anne Rice?

Ian wants me to read the rest of the series ahead of him. I think I'll pass.

Steve said: Twilight?!

Try Terry Pratchett's Nation. If you like that and find it appropriate for your son, Pratchett has about fifty books in the Discworld series. He is excellent. He has won awards for his Tiffany Aching books, based in Discworld. He also has Alzheimers and some day may be forced to stop writing. They are some of the best novels I have ever read.

You can rent Hogfather, a Discworld Christmas movie based on one of the books. Jim Butcher's Dresden Files may be up to snuff. Jasper Forde is fun as well.

If YOU want to read Vampire books for adults, Laurell Hamilton's Anita Blake series is good, but after about ten she drifts and replaces plot with sex. And the Southern Vampire books by Charlaine Harris are worth the read. Trueblood, the tv series, is based on them.

I saw the Texas Depression book. Have you ever read Giant? The movie is good but the book is better.

Serena said:

LOL! Thank you so much! Ian wanted to read Twilight, but I wouldn't let him read it until I had read it first. I didn't want him reading inappropriate content, and I wasn't really sure what was in it. He is loving it, but then again, he's 9. I thought it was awful. :D

Vampire books really aren't my thing. I will check out your suggestions for Ian. I, too, am more of a murder mystery type. I have been hooked since I was Ian's age reading "Encyclopedia Brown". Remember those? I moved from that to Agatha Cristie's Murder on the Orient Express. GREAT book by a GREAT author. :D

I love Dick Francis and Mary Higgins Clark (Moonlight Becomes You is one of my favorites, and The Cradle Will Fall). I like more plot than sex. I've read some of the Nora Roberts as JD Robb stuff, and although I find the futuristic cop idea pretty cool, I think the sex in the stories takes away from the stories, if you know what I mean. What murder and mayhem authors would Dawn recommend?

Steve said...
Have you read the Dexter books? Pretty fun. Dawn has been read books by Chelsea Cain. She likes the Kathy Reichs books too.

Pratchett's books aren't just for children. He writes them to be enjoyed by all. Many are mysteries in their own right. One of the few authors will make me laugh and sniffle back a small tear at times. He writes to and about people, things that are universal and strikes home for everyone.

If Ian likes the fantasy stuff, Edgar Rice Burroughs and Howard's Conan books are wonderful. Tarzan kicks a**, and soon the John Carter of Mars movie will be out.

Neil Gaiman is another Brit author with kids' books, like Coraline. You can try American Gods if interested.

Douglass Adams books are worth the read. Hitchhikers Guide to Galaxy has been a movie, but the tv miniseries is better.

Serena said...

I LOVED Hitchhiker's Guide -- and I read it LONG before they decided to make it a movie. :D The pages in my hard-covered copy are dog-earred from re-reads.

I think Ian and I will hit the library tonight.

Steve said...
There is the Doc Savage series too. The best and greatest of pulp fiction stories. Superman was based on Doc Savage.

Your library probably carries the original British miniseries of Hitchhiker's Guide. It is very close to the books, unlike the movie.

Serena said...
I thought the Hitchhiker movie stunk. The Erie County Library lets readers reserve copies of whatever they have to your local library by requesting online, so I will request the miniseries online from the Library and have them send it to my library. Life is good!

Steve said...
By the way, American Gods is for adults. Gaiman has a children's line, and a whole bunch of comics. Just in case. Well worth the read and kind of a mystery too.

Lots of great authors, so little time.

Serena said...

I truly enjoyed a few by Rick Riordan, who wrote the Percy Jackson and the Olympian Gods series (that spawned The Lightning Thief). He is writing another children's series, also, called The 39 Clues. Excellent boy stuff - mysteries with history. I am so glad Ian is a reader. Ian also liked Pendragon and wants me to get more of those.

You are SO right -so many great authors, so little time.

Tweaked

My nephew came over today and 'tweaked' my computers at home. Life is good! He found the drivers I needed for my old laptop, so Ian can use it now for games/movies. And he upgraded my new laptop to Windows 7, uneventfully.

Thank you, Eric!

(He's so good to me, even though I forget his birthday.)

The Joy of Mathematics

For fun in the evenings, Ian and I have been watching a series of lectures called "Joy of Mathematics". The lectures are taught by Arthur T. Benjamin, Ph.D. They are wonderful! I especially enjoyed the lecture on the Fibonacci series of numbers, and Ian got a kick out of the lecture on Algebra. (He gets it!) All the lectures are in plain English, and Dr. Benjamin makes them easy to understand.

Dr. Benjamin gives excellent examples on how things work and why. (For example,"Think of a number between 1 and 10. Triple it. Add 6. Then triple again. Now take your answer, probably a two-digit number, and add the digits of your answer. If you still have a two-digit number, add those digits again. You should now be thinking of the magical number 9. The reason this works is based on algebra and the fact that the digits of any multiple of 9 must sum to a multiple of 9.")

I learned how to square any number ending in 5 without a calculator. And how to multiply any two-digit number by 11, yes, without a calculator. Ian thinks it's amazing. I think it is really, really cool.

It is obvious as we are watching the lectures that Dr. Benjamin loves Mathematics as much as I do. I am thoroughly enjoying them!

Michael said...I wonder if that DVD is available for rent some time in the future???

Serena said...

You could 'rent' it from me. :) I'll let you borrow it when I'm done. It's really interesting!

A "Math" Pun

There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deerskin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that...

The squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

I love it!

A Pun

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them.

Immediately, he was arrested and charged with...transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

On-Line at Home - Finally!

The Internet is still running slow, but hopefully my nephew will be able to make some sense of it when he comes over this weekend.

Women and Weight

Received this by email today...

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror, I will think, Good grief, look how smart I am!

Windows 7

I recently attempted an upgrade to Windows 7 on my new Dell laptop, which THANKFULLY is still under warranty.

A Dell technician and I misunderstood each other. He asked me if I had backed up all my data. Yes, I replied, I have backed up all my personal files and photos. Okay, said he, because this upgrade will erase them. No problem, I said. All my personal files and photos are on CDs. He began the upgrade for me, and said I should be completely upgraded in about 45 minutes.

Well. Windows 7 erased EVERYTHING - -including my programs!!! My Microsoft Office suite? Gone. Games? Gone. Adobe Acrobat? Gone. My printer and drivers? Gone. My integrated webcam? Gone. What a nightmare.

I figured I could reinstall the programs from the discs that came with the computer. Unfortunately, the discs, which had never been removed from their packaging, arrived damaged. The Microsoft Office CD was actually cracked, and it wasn't noticable until I removed it from the packaging, which it was stuck to. Ugly, ugly, ugly.

By this time I am almost in tears. I called Dell and, of course, was directed to a very nice gentleman whose native language is not English. I believe I understood roughly 3/4 of everything he said. Ultimately, he and his manager took pity on me. They are shipping a new hard drive to me, a factory image of what I had, so I can start from scratch again with what I originally ordered.

Language barriers and lack of technological knowledge cause a whole gamut of problems. I am grateful Dell is making it right with me. I should be up and running at home again in about 4 days.

Lacrosse

Ian and I went to a Rochester Nighthawks lacrosse game yesterday with Dorinda and Bill. I don't really have a good grasp on the game, but we had a great time. The goalie for the Nighthawks, Pat O'Toole, tied a record for saves.

Lacrosse seems to have some elements of hockey with some elements of basketball. I don't know if there really are any rules. I mean, what constitutes 'roughing'? They are always hitting each other and pushing each other...where does playing the game end and roughing begin?

I'm going to get 'Lacrosse for Dummies'. :)

Reading - For Fun!

I ordered my textbooks and am all set for next semester (Economics and Marketing), so I decided to do some reading for fun.

Ian wanted to go see "The Lightning Thief" when it came out, so prior to seeing the movie, we read the novel. And then I continued on and read Sea of Monsters, Titan's Curse, Battle of the Labyrinth, and Last Olympian. An excellent series! Ian is now reading Sea of Monsters, and he can't put it down.

I started on another 'kid' series...Ian begged me to read the City of Ember series, which, until he read the Lightning Thief, were "The GREATEST books EVER!" It's a series of four books, all very good books with lessons to be learned about getting along and saving the planet. I read City of Ember and People of Sparks so far. I've started on the Prophet of Yonwood, the third book, and then Diamond of Darkhold is left.

Ian also wants me to read Twilight. I've never been into vampire stories, so I'm not thrilled about it, but I will humor him anyway. I'm putting it off, though, as I also started the 'Women's Murder Club' series by James Patterson. I read First to Die, Second Chance, Third Degree, and I'm about half-way through Fourth of July.

Oh, and I've also re-read Clive Cussler's Sahara, also an excellent book. Clive Cussler is one of my favorite authors. He's right up there with Dick Francis and Mary Higgins Clark. The movie Sahara was also very good.

Next on the novel list are Echo Burning by Lee Child and Missing by Lisa Jackson. Murder and mayhem. :) Erica, one of the ladies I work with, read the entire Prey series by John Sanford, and she is going to let me borrow them. Life is good!

Of course, I'm also keeping up with the Wall Street Journal and Money Magazine to try to keep up with the wonderful world of finance.

Oh! And I ordered, and started watching, a great DVD course entitled The Joy of Mathematics. It's a great course! I've learned all kinds of neat things, like about the Fibonacci series and various patterns it makes, how to square numbers ending in 5 without a calculator, cool, cool, cool stuff.

The sun was shining today, and it was well over 50 degrees outside. It was great to sit in the sun for a little bit, soak in fresh air and rays, while reading a book. One of my favorite pastimes...

Can't you just tell I'm smiling?

4.0!

That would be my final grade in Quantitative Analysis!

WHOO HOO!

Michael said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

Serena said...

Thank you! It was hard work. :D

Advice to the Lovelorn

There is a boy named Jack and a girl named Devan who ride the school bus with Ian, and apparently Jack is head over heels for Devan. I heard about this in an almost non-stop narrative from Ian the other night.

Mom! There's this guy Jack on my bus, and he told me he is gonna tell Devan he loves her! I told him you can't DO that! If you just come right out and tell a girl you love her, she'll smack you upside the head!

She will?!?

Yeah, Mom. Girls do that these days. So I told him first, you gotta ask your Mom to get you some deodorant, because you can't tell a girl you love her if you smell bad. And he's gotta lose that hat he wears. He wears this wool hat, and it is NOT attractive. I told him he should wear a Sabres cap or something. He's got to ditch that hat.

It's that bad?

Oh, yeah. And I told him he's got to dress fashionably. You can't tell a girl you love her if you are wearing sweatpants and have a hole in your t-shirt. That's just dumb. I told him he's got to wear jeans and a nice shirt, maybe something at Abercrombie, and make sure he smells good. That's important to girls.

It sure is. Did you shower today?

Why? I'm not telling any girl I love her.

{heavy sigh}

Michael said...

I'm very glad to see that he knows the only reason a man needs to shower. :D

Jeff said...

and when not to wear your PJ's :D

Serena said...

Heaven help me.

Anonymous said...

This is the dad from Ian's baseball who doesn't like watching baseball. I thought thought you'd like to know I thought this post was funny.

Serena said...

Thank you, Jack's Dad! LOL! Not too many dull moments in my house, that's for sure!

Asbestos

Unencapsulated asbestos.

"Leave it alone and you'll be fine. It's only dangerous if you mess with it."

So good to hear. I'll just keep this in case I ever get diagnosed with mesothelioma. Just in case.

And now, the Lighter Side :)

"Desperata"
sent to me by my brother, I don't know who wrote it.

Go placidly amid the noise and waste, and remember what peace there may be in apathy.
As far as possible be on good terms with all persons and be prepared to surrender your ideals in order to find acceptance from others.

Speak your truth clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too may be rich and powerful.

Do not extend yourself; those who reach out are easily hurt. Accept the life-style you are handed.
System-bucking is uneconomic and unwise, considering all you have to look forward to.
In an ever-changing world, strive to be the same. Be yourself, whatever that means.

Especially avoid affection. No one likes a sook.
Do not distress yourself searching for answers to deep questions of self-examination.
Be content with emotional charges from occasional religious activities.
Keep your religion, whatever you conceive it to be, separate from your mind.

There is comfort to be found in vagueness. Avoid the enthusiastic, their feelings may be contagious.
Beyond an occasional discipline, don’t push yourself.
Reject kindly the counsel of the aged and experienced. They are well-meaning but things are different these days. Still, humour them - as you too may be old one day.

You are a child of the system. No less than a credit card, you have a right to be here.

And, whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as your perceptions will allow it.

Whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life let not prejudice and fear break down your walls of contentment.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; selfishness, corruption and self-defeating internal wars, emptiness, disappointment, carelessness and hate, fear, persecution, home-spun comforting philosophy and people, it is still a beautiful contract.

Be carefree; strive to be vapid; pushback when ready.

Deteriorata

Go placidly amid the noise and the waste and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.

Avoid quiet & passive persons unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself & heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys; know what to kiss & when.

Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold. Be comforted that in the face of all aridity & disillusionment & despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance. Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle & mutilate.

Know yourself; if you need help, call the FBI. Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you -- that lemon on your left, for instance. Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love therefore; it will stick to your face.

Gracefully surrender the things of youth, birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan; & let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hire people with hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311; ask for Ken. Take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese; & reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee.

You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here, & whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore make peace with your God whatever you conceive Him to be -- Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin.

With all its hopes, dreams, promises, & urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. Give up.


Copyright © National Lampoon. Written by Tony Hendra.

Desiderata - Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

Neologisms

I love these! I have no idea what year they are from, but they're still great. :D

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:


1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

Great-Grandchild Number Four!

Here is my Aunt Marlene with Natalie, born February 9th. Natalie is my first cousin twice removed, the daughter of Melissa, my first cousin once removed, daughter of Jan, my first cousin.

Welcome to the world, Natalie!

Backyard Sledding

I think it's cool that no matter what he is doing, Unko Myko isn't far from his thoughts.

The Money Tree

Mom! I found my wallet!

(I didn't comment. Didn't think one was necessary.)

It's empty.

(I still didn't comment. What could I say? "Mine is, too"?)

Mom?

Yes?

Well?

Well, what?

Aren't you going to give me money?

I want to know what color the sky is in his world.