Light bulbs have pushed me RIGHT OVER THE EDGE.
The bulb in my kitchen blew. No problem. I go up to my linen closet only to discover that I used the last of the light bulbs that Christopher bought for me probably, oh, three or four years ago. Still no problem. I should have saved the package, but I am a woman of reasonable intelligence. I will go to the store and buy my own darn light bulbs.
Problem.
Have you been to the light bulb aisle in the store lately? There’s day light, night light, soft light, soft white, extra soft white, electric, household electric, fluorescent, 3 way, compact, compact fluorescent, flame tip, general, vanity, 15 watt, 25 watt, 45 watt, 60 watt, 100 watt, 125 watt, track, flood, globe, frost, decorative, inside frost, natural, enhanced natural, clarity, and energy-saving.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I just want a light bulb for my kitchen. NONE of them say “for your kitchen”.
So I called my Dad. He said, “Just buy a standard light bulb. A 75 watter should do you.” Wise guy. Which one of the above choices is “standard”? And NONE of the boxes said 75!
I JUST WANT A LIGHT BULB FOR MY KITCHEN!
It's times like this I miss my brother the most. I can practically hear him rolling his eyes.
Maybe it's just time for me to get out for a couple hours. I think I will get a sitter, call Hope, and go throw darts someplace. Screw the light bulbs.
Michael said...
I was in Vegas lately, and it was very clear that every casino on the strip was trying to outdo all the others with "the most. The most size, the most lights, the most skimpy outfits on the girls, the most... You get the idea. All of this designed to attract the attention of wide-eyed tourists, and seduce them to empty their wallets.
Same with most everything in retail. Same with light bulbs.
"Soft" means there is a coating inside the lamp to help diffuse the outgoing light and prevent harsh, stark shadows... i.e. to create "soft" shadows. That is the current "standard" light bulb your dad was talking about.
Sidebar - In the name of energy conservation, there is a legislative push to outlaw incandescent lamps (the ones with a tungsten filament) in favor of fluorescent ones. The industry rightly claims that fluorescent lamps use less energy to produce the same amount of light. However, in my experience, fluorescent lamps do not last anywhere near as long as incandescent lamps unless you leave them on continuously. The on-off cycles seem to dramatically shorten the life of fluorescent lamps.
>day light For folks who dislike the yellow-orange color tint of “standard” incandescent lamps, these babies enhances the blue end of the spectrum.
>night light Very low wattage
>soft light Diffused for soft shadows
>soft white an early attempt at making the light look more like daylight
> household electric most likely for appliances, such as in your oven or fridge
>3 way For use in special lamp sockets that provide three lighting choices. If you don’t know what this is, you don’t own one.
>compact, compact fluorescent, Reduced size of the glass envelope for use in tight confines, such as the insoide of curio or china cabinets
>flame tip For living room chandeliers
>vanity For use around bathroom mirrors where there is no additional decorative glass to make it look pretty and diffuse the light.
>15 watt, 25 watt, 45 watt, 60 watt, 100 watt, 125 watt The lower the wattage, the dimmer the bulb.
>track With built in reflectors to channel light and heat down away from the ceiling.
>flood Light is directed into a general area by an internal reflector.
>globe A variation of Vanity.
>frost A variation of “soft”
>natural, enhanced natural Variations of full-spectrum lighting (enhanced blue end of the spectrum)
>clarity Marketing gimmick
>energy-saving. So they say. The best way to save energy on an incandescent lamp is to run it on a dimmer and NEVER turn the dimmer all the way up. Running the lamp at 90% power makes it last forever and uses less wattage.
As with everything else, you get what you pay for, so if you buy the very cheapest you can find, you will replace them more often. Stay in the middle of the road.
Good luck.
Serena said...
Good heavens. I'm going to need all the luck I can get!
Thank you, Obiwan. I've printed this out to take to the store as a 'cheat sheet'.
It's funny how this worked... There are certain things I have always, without fail, relied on the man in my life for. "Hey, Chris, I'm out of light bulbs and the kitchen light blew." "No problem. I'll grab some on my way over." And he does his guy thing in the guy store and comes home with exactly what I need. I never knew I didn't know how to buy light bulbs because I've never done it!
Never again. I'm going to tackle the extension cord aisle next. I am woman - hear me roar! (After, of course, initial whimpering over the magnitude of it all...) :D
