In December of 2003, I gained 13 pounds, seemingly overnight. I could no longer get to sleep at night; I just couldn’t shut my mind down long enough to get any rest. I became anxious about everything, even about things over which I had no control and even no personal knowledge. I worried about everything and began to obsess. And then I began losing weight. Rapidly. 35 pounds over six weeks. Now, I have never been considered "normal", but I made an appointment with my primary doctor because I knew there was something wrong with me. I just didn’t know what.
During that visit, my blood pressure was 170/100 and my pulse, at rest, was 102. I was having occasional chest pain from heart palpitations. And I was scared. I am a single mom.
The good doctor sent me for blood work, which showed my thyroid hormone was being suppressed. Off to an endocrinologist I went, and finally got an appointment for April of 2004.
My diagnosis? Grave’s Disease.
“Grave’s Disease,” I said. “You mean, ‘grave’ like in ‘dead’?” Sure enough. Also known as hyperthyroidism. The doctor told me to do as much research as I wanted to do to obtain as much knowledge as I felt comfortable with, and he would answer any questions I have.
I read everything I could get my hands on, from Thyroid Balance by Glenn S. Rothfeld and Deborah S. Romaine, to Thyroid for Dummies, by Alan L. Rubin, M.D. and Rich Tennant. I checked out websites like http://www.webmd.com/ and http://www.ngdf.org/ (National Grave’s Disease Foundation).
I got my Will in order. I got Tapazole.
I stabilized, but in April of 2005, the doctor decided I should have Radioactive Iodine Therapy. I went off the Tapazole for two weeks, and then went in to have another thyroid scan and set up the appointment for the Day to Kill the Thyroid. I had spontaneous remission. I figure the whole idea of RIT just scared the Grave’s right out of me.
As it turns out, remission was temporary. I gained 12 pounds during the month of March, an instant tip-off. And then in June, my blood pressure shot up to unhealthy levels again. I’m on Altace. I’m not overly anxious about anything yet, and I’m still sleeping at night, but doctor assures me that might not last. And I might also gain more weight before I start to lose again. He’s just a ray of bitter sunshine, that one.
Spontaneous remission is possible again. I believe the mind is a very powerful thing. I will set my mind to remission. I will have it.
Positive thinking never hurt anyone.
