I’ve been meaning to write this entry for quite some time,
but had been putting it off because it is just too painful. I don’t think that pain is going to go away
for a long time, however, and perhaps writing about it will be cathartic.
First, you should know that prior to April 5, 2012, my father
and stepmother were very active and healthy. Every morning, they would take
their ‘old peoples’ walk’, walking anywhere between 1 and 6 miles, depending on
the weather. It kept their blood pressure down and their weight at a healthy
level. Until Leilani married my father, she still walked portions of the Appalachian
Trail with her youngest son. At 73, she had it together, mentally, physically
and emotionally.
At 5:13 p.m. on April 5, 2012, I received a voicemail
message from my sister to call her as soon as possible. I was driving home from
work, but used my hands-free to give her a quick shout back. She was crying and
difficult to understand, but when I realized she was trying to tell me my
family had been in an auto accident that morning, I pulled over.
My nephew, Andy, was the belted driver. My father was the belted front seat
passenger, and my stepmother, who I affectionately call LaniMom, was the belted
right rear passenger. A woman, who for the purposes of this post shall remain
nameless, was in a hurry, pulled out of a parking lot without stopping first,
and slammed into my nephew’s vehicle, totaling both vehicles and changing all
our lives forever.
The airbags deployed, but the pretensioners in the seat belts,
which this vehicle was supposed to be equipped with, did not. Andy had a severe
case of whiplash, but walked away with no broken bones and was, for the most
part, intact. My father suffered some
wicked bruising on his chest, a large welt on his leg, and some sort of
abrasion or chemical burn on his head, but, for the most part, he also walked
away intact.
LaniMom was not so lucky.
As near as we can figure, her seat belt failed. As my nephew
saw her put it on, and my father saw her wearing it, we can only deduce
something in the seat belt mechanism went terribly wrong. Although LaniMom
stayed in her seat, held there by the lap belt, the shoulder harness did not
engage, and her upper body went on a collision course with the inside of the
vehicle.
She suffered fractured vertebrae in her cervical and thoracic
spines. She suffered fractured ribs. Most traumatically, though, she had a 5” gash
on her head that turned out to be a skull fracture. The fracture tore her dura
(the tough outermost membrane enveloping the
brain), causing a Traumatic Brain Injury.
To further complicate matters, she had been on Coumadin at the time of
the accident, so the doctors pumped her full of Vitamin K and Factor 7 to
facilitate clotting. Unfortunately, she
developed a blood clot on her brain, ultimately requiring surgical
intervention.
For eighteen long days, LaniMom
remained in Trauma ICU at the Erie County Medical Center. She contracted
pneumonia, then MRSA. It seemed at times we were going one step forward, two
steps back. When she showed steady signs of improvement, she was moved to a
‘transition’ room, and then to Acute Rehab. Unfortunately, on May 14th,
it was discovered that her brain resumed bleeding, and she was promptly
returned to Trauma ICU.
She was finally released from ECMC, and discharged to home,
near the end of June. She began
physical, occupational and speech therapies to regain some of what she lost,
but over time, she became more and more confused, until she stopped eating and
drinking on the 4th of July.
What we did not know is that the confusion, combined with her lack of
appetite, is indicative of bleeding on the brain.
On July 4, 2012, she became unresponsive and was re-admitted
to ECMC in the Trauma ICU. On July 5th, she was moved to a 7th
floor transition room, and was fed thru an NG tube until she was able to
swallow again. She was there until July
23rd, completely losing any strength and the small amount of mental
acuity she had regained while in acute rehab.
On July 23, 2012, she was moved to Gowanda Rehabilitation
and Nursing Center, which was the nearest long-term rehabilitation facility to
us that had a bed. It is a 40 minute drive for my father, over one hour for me,
and two hours for my sister. LaniMom began to make progress, slowly regaining
strength to be able to move around again.
Unfortunately, our time at ECMC wasn’t over. On August 5th, LaniMom was
increasingly fatigued and again stopped eating and drinking. On August 6th,
her neurosurgeon directed us to get her back to ECMC. AllStar Ambulance was called and so
directed, but they made a discretionary decision and decided to take her to the
nearest hospital, which happened to be LakeShore Hospital in Irving, New York,
in the opposite direction of ECMC. While
we were waiting at ECMC for her arrival, LakeShore admitted her, did a CT-scan,
and diagnosed her with another brain bleed. At that point, they decided they’d
better get her back to ECMC. I’ll
refrain from sarcasm.
Lab tests were taken, and it was discovered LaniMom had a
UTI. She was given antibiotics, eventually discharged to Gowanda again on
August 9th, and her physical, occupational and speech therapies
resumed on August 11th.
She is getting stronger by the day, but remains terribly confused.
We are having an extremely difficult time re-connecting her mental dots. As an
example, when I went to see her a couple weeks ago, we were having what I
thought was a lucid discussion about raising children, and she became convinced
she was pregnant.
We’ve got a long road ahead of us. Dad is by her side every
single day, and has been, without fail, since the accident. While I was at ECMC
every day when she was there, I am only able to go to Gowanda once a week. I’m
there every Sunday. I keep hoping she will be able to fully recover, but I know
it will take up to five years, her age is against her, and she may never again
be the same.
Life is so fragile. Take nothing for granted. Tell your
family and friends you love them. Make amends if you can. We don’t know what
tomorrow will bring.
